Butt Seriously … don’t just stick it in.

Fact: you can celebrate bodacious hindquarters anytime.

But for some, Anal August offers permission to explore the butt and all its glory more erotically.

Of course, when you hear the term “Anal August,” you might think “anal sex.” And that typically means off to the races, sticking things in quickly…and likely, haphazardly.

Butt seriously, don’t just stick it in. 

When you jump into anal intercourse too quickly, you’re sidestepping a ton of potential pleasure at best…and hurting yourself (or your partner) at worst.

The biggest issue I want to stress is that anal play does not automatically equal anal sex. There’s a lot of other discoveries to make before even considering anal penetration. 

If you’re new to anal play (or are just now contemplating it), you probably have a lot of questions. For example: 

• Why would anyone want to be anywhere near … feces?

• Is it more desirable because it’s taboo?

• Does it hurt?

• Do anal orgasms really exist?

• How does it work differently for men and women?

• Is it only for gay men?

• Can you enjoy the back door area without penetration? 

Yes, there’s a reason why this is uncharted territory because … shit happens! 

You might think this part of your anatomy is “exit only.” I get it. As a former colon hydrotherapist (inserting speculum into the rectum to hydrate the colon and eliminate waste using FDA-approved equipment), I have to share my respect for the anus, rectum, and colon. Truly.  My former business was called Embody, but my stepsons used to teasingly call it Embooty. 

So I pride myself for knowing my way around booties! 

There are protocols to managing waste that I will share in future blog, but as a somatic sexological bodyworker and colon hydrotherapist,  I want to share with you the benefits of bringing tender loving attention to this part of your body, whether or not you ever consider touch or penetration of any sort. 

Our anus (and colon) hold a lot of emotion, whether you’re aware of it or not. There’s a reason we have sayings like, “He’s such a tight ass” or “She’s so anal (retentive).” 

In sexological bodywork, we refer to the anus lovingly, not scientifically, as the rosebud. 

To begin getting in touch with the often unconscious emotions or tension you’re holding, bring awareness to your anus, or rosebud, right now just by thinking of it. Here’s how. 

Rosebud Connection 

>Take in a deep abdominal breath, with a longer exhale.

>Then place your awareness on your anus.

>Gently squeeze your anal sphincter toward your tailbone.

>And release. 

>This time, include anal contraction toward tailbone with deep abdominal inhalation.

> Release contraction with your longer exhale.

>Repeat twice more.

>Notice how it feels and just be with it without any expectations.

>Do daily or when you are aware of stress or conflict.

We have sphincters throughout our body, and when one of them is tight and contracted, it sends a message to the others that the body is not safe and they all tighten up. This creates unconscious full-body tension and anxiety, which contributes to shallow breathing and closes you off to pleasure. It also impacts your immune system over time.

By practicing gentle relaxation of the anal sphincter with my Rosebud Connection somatic exercise as a form of anal breathing, you can do wonders for your nervous system because it’ll  stimulate parasympathetic and vagal nervous stimulation by contracting the anal muscle toward the tailbone. This will also gently help you begin to unwind tension and stress. 

If you are able to add gentle and stimulating touch to the anus, it will increase these benefits and start tackling anal-based shame. (See my future blog on Anal Massage.)

When I administered colonics, it was my job to help relax the client in a safe, supportive, and integrous space so they could get out of their head and drop into their parasympathetic nervous system: our “rest and digest” system. This allowed for more successful eliminations.  Often, it resulted in a big emotional release as well.  

Bottoms up!

Ok. You’ve got your marching orders. Try the Rosebud Connection once a day (at minimum), and let me know what you notice. 

Lastly, make sure to give your booty some love!  Rub some extra lotion on it,  look at it in the mirror and give it a compliment!  Just like the vulva, we don’t want to ignore the luscious external parts before getting to the bits! 

NEXT SERIES BLOG: Butt Seriously … solo rosebud massage.

#analaugust