I would classify the Nora Jones’ Turn Me On libido style as Spontaneous Sexual Desire. And yes…it’s hot.

Rip my clothes off, lustful, can’t get enough of you hormone overdrive of a new relationship. When the sight or thought of them does, in fact, instantly turn you on. Scientifically speaking, it’s the Singer Kaplan model + Masters and Johnson model when the physiological desire precedes sexual arousal or activity.

So while Nora’s not entirely wrong, this spark that many complain of losing is biologically present for a few months to a few years: i.e., the Honeymoon Phase.

But where the rubber meets the road, and what I teach to sustain the romance, sex and intimacy in long-term relationships, is Responsive Sexual Desire.

Sadly, when intimacy starts to fade, many couples move into a tolerating mode, or a survival mode. Love may still be there…but they yearn for that spark to kick in on its own, and when it doesn’t, wonder why their partner isn’t coming home to turn them on.

Many heterosexual men assume that if they like anal penetration, that makes them gay.  No darlin’.  It simply means that you are curious to expand your pleasure menu.  And if you do this with self-touch, anal toy accessories, or invite a female partner or a sexological bodyworker to help you explore this area, you’re still playing for the same team. You’ve just got more ways to feel good! 

The women who most naturally love anal sex are those whose perineal sponge is highly pleasurable.  

The perineal sponge is an erectile bed located …

Health Benefits of Rosebud Massage:

De-armoring is one of many benefits you’ll get from anal massage. Massaging the anus stimulates your vagus nerve, the nerve in charge of your nervous system. If approached calmly and lovingly, the massage can be very down-regulating in a healthy way. Think better sleep, reduced stress, and helpful preparation for anal sex – if that’s your desire.

The goal with Rosebud Massage is to find comfort, safety, relaxation and then to increase pleasurable sensations over time. It’s your way of building your own relationship with this typically unexplored part of your body BEFORE inviting anyone else to the party. One route to gaining this type of agency is Somatic Dialoguing – and it’s key to my Pleasure Muse intimacy and embodiment work.

When you jump into anal intercourse too quickly, you’re sidestepping a ton of potential pleasure at best…and hurting yourself (or your partner) at worst.

The biggest issue I want to stress is that anal play does not automatically equal anal sex. There’re a lot of other discoveries to make before even considering if anal penetration is on the menu.

If I ever had Penis Envy, it would be because of what seems to be a normalized freedom to touch and explore.

Yet girls have been taught to not touch “down there,” to close our legs, to be lady like.

In other words, don’t explore and discover your Pleasure Power Portal!

With open legs & open hearts, we’re doing the opposite in my PleasureMuse Vulva Hug Meditation. I’m encouraging you to touch, feel and connect.

We EXPECT sex and desire to be natural. To be spontaneous. To be ever-present.And then when it’s not, we think we’re broken. Or we blame our partner. 

I say I’m a Sex and Relationship Coach, but truly, I’m an Embodiment Specialist who teaches you how to connect with your body to feel so you can be at choice with what you want to feel.

The antidepressant stopped my uncontrollable tears, but it also stopped me from feeling much of anything else. I was a walking contradiction. Teaching others to feel while I was feeling less and less.

I do not take for granted the freedom and privilege we have to post empowered photos as living, breathing, intellectual, sensual, and powerful women that we are. And I’m saddened to learn of the realities of the B&W photos in Turkey. ⠀

My mother and I had to flee her abuser many times. One of our ‘safe houses’ was a dear friend of hers that was ironically and sadly later killed by way of domestic violence. My childhood experience of this kind of abuse felt isolated and that there were just a few bad people.