Hug Rx, Your Prescription for Well Being
"The PleasureMuse 2024 Hug Challenge: Embracing the Healing Power of Touch"
In a world that often moves at a hectic pace, filled with stress and demands, we often overlook the simple yet profound act of touch and the transformative power of hugs. As mammals, touch is embedded in our DNA. From the safe and loving cuddles we received as children to the nourishing back rubs that brought comfort, touch played a vital role in our early development. However, as we transitioned into adolescence, the nature of touch often transformed. The next significant touch experiences were often associated with sexual exploration, marking a shift from nurturing to erotic intentions.
Unless of course, you had someone that you could or can count on for the most extraordinary, healing hugs. Growing up, that was my Auntie Stella!
She was soft, small and smelled of Avon hand cream.
What was most special about Auntie’s hugs was the fact that the longer you stayed in her embrace, the better you felt. There were no feelings of obligation, no toleration, no trying to get away. Being in her arms was like being in the ultimate presence of love and compassion from an idyllic Mother.
So, like Avon hand cream, is there something that will elicit or create new memories of hugs? I invite you to my PleasureMuse 2024 Hug Challenge to rediscover the healing power of hugs and the positive impact they can have on your well-being.
PleasureMuse 2024 Hug Challenge:
Numerous studies have highlighted the physical and emotional benefits of touch. The simple act of hugging has the extraordinary ability to reduce stress, lower blood pressure, and regulate cortisol levels. To release the “love hormone” oxytocin, how many hugs a day do we need? According to experts, the magic numbers are 4 hugs for survival, 8 hugs for maintenance, and 12 hugs for growth.
Are you up for this many hugs?
Especially since COVID, as a society, there’s growing need for endearing, nurturing and consensual touch. My PleasureMuse Hug Challenge encourages you to embrace the act of hugging as a means of promoting physical and emotional well-being.
The challenge? Hug yourself, your loved ones, your pets, family, friends, and even your favorite tree—everything with platonic loving intentions for a total of 12 or more hugs a day!
My recommendation:
Morning hug(s) before picking up your phone
4 hugs by 12p
4 more hugs by 3p
4 more hugs by 9p
Play catch up at bedtime! Or give yourself bonus hugs as you reflect on your day.
Tips for a Fulfilling Hug:
Heart-to-Heart Connection: The most powerful hugs involve a heart-to-heart connection. Aim for longer hugs where your hearts align, fostering a deeper sense of connection. I absolutely LOVE giving my dogs Charley and Roxy heart to heart hugs when they are lying on their bellies. Lately, Charley seems more comfortable offering his forehead to me. So we do forehead to forehead holding/ hugs and I can STILL feel the oxytocin ripple through my body!
So while heart to heart is optimal, any hug where you can feel presence and connection will make a difference.
Extended Duration: Challenge yourself to hold the hug a bit longer than your usual inclination. Count to 10 and notice the subtle shift in the experience. For an even greater boost of oxytocin, extend the hug to 20-30 seconds. I know this will be hard, unless you have an Auntie Stella in your life! Truly, it takes practice.
*A Note to Lovers! I often get told by clients that they hold off on touching or hugging their partner because the affection is mistaken for initiating sex. So if you fall into this category, know that this is something you will have to discuss with your partner. It’s a way to increase intimacy and feelings of safety and nourishment. If this is not the case, please contact me as there is some nervous system regulation that we can work on!
Consent and Communication: Before embarking on the challenge, communicate with those around you, ensuring they’re aware of your intention to participate. This helps create a consensual and comfortable environment for everyone involved.
My goal, of course, is that the hugs become as normal as brushing our teeth. And that you don’t need a “challenge” to make them part of your life.
Variety of Hugs: Explore different types of hugs to cater to various relationships and situations. From warm embraces with family to friendly hugs with friends, each type of hug contributes to the overall healing experience.
Not to be forgotten: self hugs, trees and even stuffed animals!
Tune into the “giving and receiving” of embracing yourself and HOLD it for your ten seconds. Then switch your arms (left over right or vice-versa) and hug your other self.
You can really feel the power of holding a hug and switching your focus as the giver and then as the receiver with a tree. This might be a great place for you to practice! And if you want to be reminded of early childhood comfort and love, then practice or include a favorite stuffed animal! I leave my teddy bear, Panzón, at my mom’s home so when I’m away from my husband, I know I always want and need extra hugs! For stuffed animals, just feeling the warmth of it next to your heart and thinking about what it represents can be very satiating.
Reflect and Share: Take a moment to reflect on how the challenge impacts your well-being and can gently open a door for healing. Even though I’m a sex and intimacy coach, I’m first a somatic practitioner. I speak to my clients’ nervous systems to teach them connection skills with the ability to feel safe and nurtured in their bodies.
Sharing about your experiences with others can also be part of your healing; as can attuning to how the presence or absence of touch affects our lives.
After my Auntie Stella died, I had a dream of her visiting my home. She was standing in the front door, dwarfed in her oversized, winter coat. I said, “You came!” And then she hugged me for a long, long time. Neither of us wanted to let go. When I think of it, of her, I have a positive somatic reaction. I can still feel that hug and smell her Avon lotion.
My PleasureMuse 2024 Hug Challenge is more than just a simple call to action. It's an invitation to prioritize and celebrate the healing power of touch in our lives, one hug at a time.
By embracing this challenge, literally and figuratively, we can cultivate a culture of connection, intimacy, and well-being; letting the healing embrace of a hug transform your world.
PS. Write to me or send me photos of those you love to hug THE MOST!
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Auntie giving me a blessing before I put on my wedding dress in 2009 when I married Jason, who is pictured in the blog heading.